Impending Speech Exposes Focal Sweat Points On Man's Body

 Whilst preparing for his keynote address, Terry Levesque (pictured right) of Milwaukee, Wisconsin, noticed dark blotches forming beneath his armpits and in betwixt his thick thighs. "This happens every time," Levesque says. "I just get so nervous before going out in front of a large crowd."

 The bodily fluids pouring from the glands in his flesh spread rapidly and as his heart began to accelerate his body temperature rose. "I like to fan myself with the collar of my button-up so as to create a breeze that cools off my chest and back, two places where the sweat usually secretes." And if that wasn't enough, his toes started slipping and sliding inside of his cheap socks and even cheaper Oxfords. "This is when it starts to get really bad." Levesque claims that the feeling of rubbing his sweaty toes together makes him feel 'icky.'

 Hoping to adjust his crotch into a comfortable position before stepping out in front of hundreds of his peers who will be harshly judging his appearance and every movement, Levesque admitted that the "crotch situation" was his 'worst enemy.' "I've never been able to master any technique that allows for proper testicle placement in relation to my penis or that is both comfortable and long-lasting." But even as he waits in the wings, out of sight of the audience, he still has to navigate the wandering eyes of backstage technicians and assistants. "I'm sure they see a lot of nut-grabbing in their line of work, but I still don't feel comfortable doing it in front of them."

 Levesque is not a fan of these events and has never gotten the hang of them in the twelve years or whatever that he has been doing this. "Every time feels like the first time," he says. "Now if only I can feel the same way about my wife."