Eric McGannigan (father of two) was gunned down this afternoon by area Police Officer Samuel Westin outside of the Shell Station off Hwy 85 after planning a shaken-soda prank on his friend. Westin's testimony states he saw McGannigan buy the soda and "shake it with an evil glimmer" which has been put on the city's Prank Ordinance List, as we all know.
"Pranks have been a problem in the city," Mayor Anthony Carson said in last month's public debate, "we will not tolerate the shenanigans".
Westin offered in a statement with us,
"I knew it was a prank. I tolerate none pranks. I would shoot anyone who secretly wants sticky soda to spew all over their friends after rumblin' the fizz - as they call it on the street. At least I call it that. I once took down an 85 year-old perpetrator who got cute with some Peanut Brittle snakes. If you think I'm a monster (like the perp's kid thought when I put his Dad down), I've got some sage advice: I worked in EOD in Iraq. You don't know what it's like. Every jack-in-the-box is an anticipatory fright. Watching a man shake a Fanta and knowing an explosion, so to speak, is coming - I had to stop it. I did stop it. I am an average Joe just doin' my best."
Officer Westin has been released of all charges and will return to duty.
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